Toilet

Ready?
Take Aim..
Fire!!

And it makes me wonder...

Now, I am sure you have heard in the past that the action of studying hard has never harmed anyone.Nothing could be further from the truth.Let me explain:

Have you ever wonder what the word Studying mean? To many of you, it means reading tons and tons of books and memorising facts.But if you take the word STUDYING and break it up it become STU /DYING=Student Dying

See I told you! I don't wanna be the first... :-)

For your information..

Now I know that some of you readers may be wondering what is all the fuss about the CLP.Allow me to enlighten you.


The CLP is known as the Certificate of Legal Practice.But to many of us, it is actually a Cumbersome Law Paper.(I can't agree more)

Due to the ridiculous workload and long hours we aren't the Caring Loving People that all of us future lawyers used to be.(It true,don't laugh)

Also as a results of all this we Cannot Live Properly and short term memory loss,severe personality change and temporary insanity is very much part of our lives.(Potential Tanjung Rambutan Resident)

It must be noted that the exams has registered Consistent Low Passes.(Not Surprising)

Thus this has resulted in many of us to Cari Lain Profession.(Ah long)

Haha.

But I think that we should work hard and try. Come Let's Persevere.

:-)

Another set of jokes..

You can see how lazy I am right now...

1.Two Bear HuntersTwo men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"

2.Driving with PenguinsA man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

3.Blonde Sheep WinnerThere was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. She asked the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" He replied "Sure!" Out of the blue, she blurts out, "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one. He looks at her and says, "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!"

4.Animal One LinersQ: What do whales like to chew? A: Blubber gum! Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall? A: DAM

5.Rabbit TestThe Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Another selection of jokes..

1.
The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced a new standard for medical testing.
Testing on rats will be terminated, and in the future live animal testing will be performed using lawyers. The NIH presented the following explanation for its decision:
Some lab assistants were becoming quite attached to their rats, and it was important to find an alternative which would not inspire emotional involvment.
The population of attorneys grows at a faster rate than the population of rats.
Lawyers contribute less to society, and thus are more expendable than rats.
Animal rights societies do not oppose experimentation on lawyers.
There are some things even a rat won't do.
The NIH is trying to resolve concerns raised by this change, that using lawyers for testing may render it more difficult to extrapolate test results to human beings.


2.Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.
The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey." The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."
Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

3.
Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.

Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.

Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?
They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

4.What would happen if you lock a zombie in a room full of lawyers?
He would starve to death.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
Senator.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
"Your honor."

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.

What does it mean when a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule?
It means that after you pay his bill, it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!

5.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

One juror overheard saying to another..."You'll notice that neither the prosecutor or defense attorney swore to tell the truth!"

If you see a lawyer on bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
That might be your bicycle.

Man,why are people so mean to lawyers?Haha

Jokes

Now I am just too lazy at the moment to blog so i am gonna leave you with a bunch of lawyer jokes. Enjoy.

1.Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?Take your foot off his head.

2.A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains."How much does it cost for engineer brain?""Three dollars an ounce.""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""Four dollars an ounce.""How much for lawyer brain?""$1,000 an ounce.""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

3.Q: What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

4.
Satan was complaining bitterly to God:
"You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm not perfect, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"
And so God created lawyers.

5.Three people arrive at the gates of heaven and St. Peter greeted them. "Welcome to Heaven. We have simplified the process of admission, and all you need to do to get into Heaven is pass a simple test. Are you ready?"
The first person said, "I've prepared for this moment for 73 years."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell 'God'."
"G-O-D."
"Very good, enter your eternal reward."
"That was easier than I thought it would be," the second person said, "I'll take my test now."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell 'love'."
"L-O-V-E."
"Excellent, enter your eternal reward."
The third person, a lawyer, said, "Boy, is this is gonna be a snap. Give me my test."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell 'prorhipidoglossomorpha'

Hahaha.
:-)