Jokes

Now I am just too lazy at the moment to blog so i am gonna leave you with a bunch of lawyer jokes. Enjoy.

1.Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?Take your foot off his head.

2.A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains."How much does it cost for engineer brain?""Three dollars an ounce.""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""Four dollars an ounce.""How much for lawyer brain?""$1,000 an ounce.""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

3.Q: What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

4.
Satan was complaining bitterly to God:
"You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm not perfect, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"
And so God created lawyers.

5.Three people arrive at the gates of heaven and St. Peter greeted them. "Welcome to Heaven. We have simplified the process of admission, and all you need to do to get into Heaven is pass a simple test. Are you ready?"
The first person said, "I've prepared for this moment for 73 years."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell 'God'."
"G-O-D."
"Very good, enter your eternal reward."
"That was easier than I thought it would be," the second person said, "I'll take my test now."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell 'love'."
"L-O-V-E."
"Excellent, enter your eternal reward."
The third person, a lawyer, said, "Boy, is this is gonna be a snap. Give me my test."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell 'prorhipidoglossomorpha'

Hahaha.
:-)